EP Misc: 19 Oct 2004

EP Misc: 19 Oct 2004: "GAY MARRIAGE

From: Stephanie Kagehiro

Q: I happen to be a straight female who opposes the idea of gay marriage. Please believe me when I say that I have absolutely nothing against gays or lesbians. I believe that if two persons love each other, they have every right to pursue their happiness and are entitled to the same basic freedoms enjoyed by everyone else. I am simply opposed to the usage of the term 'marriage' in these instances. I feel that the definition of 'marriage' is the union of a man and a women and should not be used to define any other relationship. If another term were used to describe the union between two homosexuals, I personally feel that much of the opposition would disappear. I can certainly understand your opposition to this suggestion. Using a different term to describe a gay couple might make that union seem that much less 'holy' and therefore less of a commitment to certain straight individuals. My only answer to that is, given the astronomical rate of divorces these days, there doesn't appear to be that much 'holiness' or deep commitment in the straight world. Another argument against my suggestion is that using another term could lead to all sorts of discrimination when applying for a job, getting into college, purchasing insurance, etc. Besides being wrong and totally unethical, this sort of discrimination is entirely unhelpful to society. Laws can go into place to prevent, or at least deter, such occurances, although one could argue that such laws would fail, judging by the amount of discrimination going on right now. I am an Irish-Japanese (%100 American) nineteen-year-old kid and already I've been discriminated against for my Asian heritage. I also hope this letter did not offend you or anyone else--that was certainly not my intention.

A: Underlying your clear argument, which many agree with, is perhaps a concern that gay marriage might reduce the validity of straight marriage. It would not, any more than your heritage reduces the status of Americans from other origins.

Religions have traditionally associated marriage with reproduction, although as they happily bless childless unions, why not gay ones? But the state should have no bar to society's recognition of a publically declared parnership of any two people of whatever gender or sexuality. 'Marriage' is only a word but if gays and lesbians wish to use it, they should for equality's sake be allowed to use it."